berlin
i'll be back soon i think...
to be honest, i had never really felt drawn to berlin. for no real reason i determined the vibe to be gray and creepy. i wouldn’t have gone to germany if it weren’t for ponderosa, and i probably wouldn’t have spent much time in berlin if it weren’t for someone from high school who was living there graciously offering to host me for the weekend and then another week after that. i left longing for more.
i first went for a weekend trip. it was halloween and i hadn’t left the countryside in 4 weeks. in the short hour-long drive my cloak of serenity parted and there i was, back in the bustle again. i thought i might feel like country mouse visiting town mouse and get whiplash from the change of pace, but i slipped into the city like a broken-in shoe.
just after arriving i put on my cocaine bear costume (i must confess i haven’t seen the movie nor done cocaine, but i needed to put that brown fur beret i bought in norway to good use) and hopped on the bus to a house party. we had to pay a cover but once inside got free drinks the whole night. i worried my countryside sleep schedule would weigh me down, but the time in there flew by and i went to bed as the sun rose.
on sunday we went to one of berlin’s renowned flea markets. it was massive. i imagined what life would be like if you had that at your disposal every week (my pockets would be empty). the u.s. could never (maybe it’s for the best).
i returned to ponderosa for my final week and summoned feelings of conclusion while readying myself to be on the move once again. on friday it was back to my friend’s studio apartment, this time with my enormous overflowing bag protruding behind me.
between exploring and going out at night, my walking stats came in at 6 miles per day. the city is huge and vast and it took 30 minutes to an hour to get anywhere, but its decentralization also awarded a calmness. it was never too congested, never felt stressful like some cities and was never overstimulating. the trains had issues sometimes but still i rarely waited more than 10 minutes for anything. mbta take notes. i reveled in my commutes, listening to music and pretending i lived there, seeing what it was like to walk with assurance and purpose, trying to emulate a certain ennui only locals could possess.
one day i dropped in on a dance class taught by someone i met at ponderosa. we basically got into our bodies and then did fuck shit for two hours, on our own, with each other, in pairs. it was fun and challenging and playful and rewarding. the next day i signed up for a gaga class which i was so excited to try out, but i went to the wrong location and missed it completely. i somehow could not take the L with grace and spent the day with the arms of disappointment and frustration wrapped around my shoulders, kicking at my back and yanking me down. maybe it was the wasted $16 or hour spent getting there. nevertheless, i persisted.
in terms of the nightlife, i barely scratched the surface — berlin has so much to offer with its famous night culture and many flinta events. but we dove into the deep end with my singular club experience.
we went to kitkat, a sex club. go big or go home!
we definitely saw too much….. but the music was bumping and we mostly alternated between dancing and sitting by the pool (there was also a sauna, dafuk). it was fun to dress up and dance in my underwear and knee high boots; that part was like smith, except you’re surrounded by men. it was definitely interesting to witness the extremes that berlin embraces — extremely freaky people being extremely sexually liberated. is this what the 90s were like?
on the dance floor the bass made even my arm hairs vibrate. i can’t say i’m a techno fan, but this was something else. maybe the dj was really good or maybe it was the hundred bodies moving in sync around me. i was vibing hard.
i definitely would only go back for a flinta night. as flight of the conchords said best, too many dicks (on the dance floor).
amongst all the good times, i think my favorite experience was going to tempelhofer. the space was an airfield once used by the nazis, but had been transformed into a park in 2010. as i biked up to it, i could see the break in the trees where the open air lay. the vastness was breathtaking. the sun was low in the sky and shone peach through the haze. the dampened sounds of skaters and families and conversations floated up in a quiet echo. the peace of it all had an effect that was cellular.
gliding down the wide runways, i watched the birds and the people. a bird flapped suspended in place as a kite floated and dipped in front of it. two small birds dashed through the sky chasing a bigger bird. people walked in pairs, families flew kites, people were dragged on skateboards by kites, someone did a kick flip, kids ran ahead of parents, commuters biked through like any other day. it was so, so beautiful. magical even. i wish everyone could have a place like this.
i hope to see you again soon. perhaps when it’s warm.
danke liebe dich xx
Big knocks to tempelhofer allure, n many of these Berlin clurb n density pontifications xx
Who knew a vast expanse of asphalt + could be soooo compelling... or is it the videography, editing, and music pairing?! Oof, good (folks, watch it full screen!).